*WARNING- not for the squeamish

I'll apologize in advance for the content in this blog. However, this is my life la dee da. I like collecting bottles. I have quite a lovely grouping. Some old ones from uncle Shirl and the little brown one that used to hold those nasty fluoride pills my mom would make me chew. I have found a couple at yard sales and I have received a few of them as gifts. I like to set my collection on a window ledge so they light up in the sun. Their current home is on the nice wide ledge in front of the big window in my family room. In the basement. Also known as "the dungeon".  Okay, I call it the dungeon because it's a little dim and the only people who spend any time down there are the kids. Usually 6 or so at a time. Another hobby of mine, besides the bottle collecting, is cleaning up pee. Call it a pet peeve, call it OCD call it basic housekeeping, whatever. I can't stand the smell of urine. I know most people can't but I believe I have super-sensory sniffing power and pee smell makes me crazy. This is a difficult power to live with being the mother of two young boys. I teach them not to just wipe the seat, but also the sides of the bowl, the bottom around the stupid caps that always fall off,

 the floor around the toilet and the space between the tank and where it attaches to the bowl. We're still learning. Another source of fragrance comes from a sweet boy not being completely "in control" at night. But, nighttime underwear is supposed to go directly outside first thing in the morning. Why does he feel the need to hide them underneath puffs of lint in the laundry room garbage can? gross. I don't have any pets but yet, I find myself on my hands and knees more often than I'd like examining wet spots with my gifted scent seeker. gag. 

Sometimes there's a toughy. That smell you just can't find the source of? Usually a dishrag

 fallen behind the washer or a sippy cup of milk left behind by a darling little cousin that rolled under a piece of furniture. Well I've had one of those phantom scents, and it smelled like pee! I won't admit how long it has gone on. In fact, I almost resigned myself to the sad truth that my house would smell like that forever. 

Mystery solved.

Remember my lovely bottles sparkling in the sun? Yeah that's right. Couldn't quite make it up the stairs to make it in to the bathroom. My mind is still reeling.  A capped bottle of  yellow liquid sitting amongst my lovelies. Only one of my darling children was home at the time of discovery and he promptly denied any liability. Until, I told him that I could take the specimen to a lab and have it tested for DNA. He fell for it and fessed up. Then the other darling child came home. I already had my culprit so I just wanted to know wh

at he knew about the incident and why he didn't rat out his brother. As soon as I said "bottle of pee", he instantly apologized and begged for my forgiveness. WHAT?! There's another pee bottle hidden in the basement?!?

Welcome to my life.