Happy Birthday Jerm!

So I'm totally copying my sisters' creativity but here are 35 reasons Jereme is so cool.

1. He loves everything I cook 

2. He could beat up a burglar if he had to 

3. He wouldn't beat anyone up even though he could 

4. He tells me I'm beautiful no matter what I look like 

5. He makes up funny names for me like "Myhotness Ghandi" 

6. He let's me paint our house any color I want 

7. He builds the coolest snow forts

http://clips.ksl.com/_One-of-the-Coolest-Snow-Forts-Ever/VIDEO/135299/5124.html?widgetld=5366 

8. He's a good scout 

9. He tucks his boys in every night 

10. He kisses the boys every morning before work 

11. He kisses me before he leaves the house, every time 

12. For a big guy he doesn't sweat too much 

13. He never has b.o. 

14. He doesn't gamble 

15. He never swears 

16. He watches TV with me 

17. He likes to go to movies 

18. He thinks I'm really talented 

19. He's not picky, about ANYTHING 

20. He's competitive 

21. He plays a mean Guitar Hero 

22. He is our hero 

23. He's freakishly strong 

24. He'll move your piano single-handedly 

25. He's always willing to help 

26. He does his home teaching 

27. He usually has something to say in Sunday School 

28. He ALWAYS has something to say to someone he runs into 

29. He has an extensive history of old "girlfriends" that he's friendly with 

30. He still has every friend he's ever made 

31. Everybody's mom likes him 

32. He's not shy 

33. He let's me put my cold feet on him in bed 

34. He can sleep anywhere, anytime but doesn't so he can go to school full-time and work 2 jobs starting at 3am to better our family 

35. He loves me as much as I love him.

I Love TV

It's true. I don't drink, do drugs, wear tube tops, swear, smoke or spit. But I do watch tv and plenty of it. Say what you will, I don't care. I watch all kinds- comedies, dramas, cops & robbers, reality, romance, cartoons, news and game shows- love 'em all. I've been in between semesters for about a month so, I've had fair opportunity to catch up on my programs. One lovely winter morning I flipped on the tube for my morning routine (Matt Lauer then Drew Carey "come on down!") No TV. There was however, a message from the cable company flashing across the screen telling me to pay my bill if I want to continue service. hmm. I know Jerm and I were discussing ways in which we could save a few bucks, and I sort of remember cable TV coming in to the conversation. Nothing was clear in my head, I panicked. I called Jerm on his cell (thankfully we still had service), he confirmed the cable being shut off. Bummer. He didn't have the same urgency to remedy the problem as I did.  After subtle hinting and a little nagging he built me an antenna. He made this thing out of tinfoil, cardboard and a spare 2x4; stuck it in the attic and tada! mama has her stories.

Now, I'm still adjusting to my lack of cable. Some of my favorite shows are no longer available to me. The list is too long for this already lengthy blog but here are a few:

I'll see you soon Mr. Monk. I'm not willing to give you up completely so I will be downloading you on to my iPod.

There's nothing like the soothing sound of Lennie Briscoe in the middle of the afternoon when your folding laundry. I may miss you the most. Buh buh. 

I've been filling Lennie's void with a combination of Ben and Judge Judy. eh.

Oh how I love reality marathons. America's Next Top Model, Top Chef & Project Runway.

I was just getting into reruns of 6 feet under and Leverage. They had better put Dexter back on NBC, and I feel ill when I think of all the old movies I don't know I'm missing.* Done ranting*

There is a glimmer of hope. I've heard there's a local channel that airs my friend Tom at 10. 

I haven't found him yet but I haven't given up. Jerm might have to crawl up in to the attic and add some more sawdust to his magic contraption.

The worst part? No DVR. I've been a DVR advocate since day 1. I should get a commission from TiVo for all the people I talked into it! Simply the best invention since cable itself. The joy of coming home after a long day, putting the kids to bed and watching all the stuff I missed. Ahh. 

Those days are GONE sista! If I want to watch something later I'm going to have to figure out how to work the VCR again! And will someone please tell me what in the heck I'm supposed to do on Thursday nights when The Office, Ugly Betty and Survivor are all on at once?!

I'm living in the dark ages here folks.

Tag I'm it!

Thanks for bringing me back Ang.

5 things I was doing 10 years ago:
1. wishing I had my own house
2. making a flower costume for halloween to go with Jerm the giant bee
3. getting excited to party like it's 1999
4. staying up late watching "Rudy" in the hospital with Ashley
5. loving coming home to an immaculate apartment everyday thanks to Jerm (those days are gone)

5 things on my to-do list today:
1. volunteer in Zander's class
2. have a fun den meeting for 11 cub scouts
3. plan Nate's engagement party menu
4. paint my fingernails in front of the TV
5. update my blog (check!)

5 favorite snacks:
1. Jell-o sugar free milk chocolate pudding
2. potato chips with clam dip
3. boiled raisin cake
4. Jerm's inventive no-sugar smoothies
5. room temperature watermelon with salt

5 jobs I've had:
1. Sears paint & hardware dept.
2. ZCMI display and candy window maker
3. Furniture peddler at San Fran Design
4. gal Friday for Robert McArthur
5. sandwich maker at Schmidt's pastry cottage

5 things I would do with a million bucks:
1. pay off the mortgages of my house, my folks house, and the Santini's house plus a condo for Ash.
2. build a home studio and buy some fancy photo equipment to start a biz.
3. buy Jerm a pick-up truck then fly to Paris and go to the top of the Eiffel Tower with him, stay in a fancy hotel and eat delicious food
4. take Vinny to Egypt to see the pyramids
5. take Zan to "Camp Rock" so he could be in a band

5 things that made me laugh this week:
1. my photo vision teacher telling us that laughing during a "brainstorm" was inappropriate.
2. my drawing teacher using Hung Vu as an example of work ethic
3. looking at pictures of linc make his pancake puffs
4. listening to my boys sing the words to songs they shouldn't know
5. watching my boys play little league flag football

5 people I tag to answer these questions:
1. Ashley
2. Natalie
3. Adam
4. Jordan
5. Kelly

First Day of School

Me Freshman- Salt Lake Community College

 The fears of starting a new school when you're 34 years old are not very different than when you're 13. I tried to dress as neutrally as possible so I wouldn't standout right away, didn't work. My first teacher of the day called unneeded attention to my shoes giving a lecture, no less than 6 full minutes long, about the overpricing of canvas-top converse  athletic shoes. Whatever. One very different thing that happened to me this time around was: I got hit on! Even asked out to lunch. Okay, it was by my old high school math teacher but I'm still counting it.

Jerm Undergrad- Weber State University

He didn't say much about it except he stayed awake. That's a plus. He was a little miffed when he had to pay full price for a parking pass when he goes to school at night and the parking lot is empty.

Vinny & Zan 3rd and 1st grade- Providence Hall Elementary

As we approached the school the streets were crowded with parked cars and mothers walking their kids in for their first day. Zander spoke up quickly, "Oh those poor poor kids that need their moms to show them where to go." Vinny agreed and that was my hint not to park and walk them to their classes. I felt a little odd when I pulled up to the drop-off and was the only car there. My boys didn't seem to care. They hopped right out of the car like they'd been going there for years, blew me a kiss and took off into the school. When I picked them up that afternoon they told me about their "great" days and delicious lunches and the fun games they played at recess, pizza tag and wall-ball. They didn't even know that I was 35 minutes late picking them up! I seem to have dozed off after I got home from class and woke up at 4:00 in a frenzied panic. I flew down the stairs forgetting to put my still-sleeping feet in front of me and landed in a crumpled mess at the bottom. I picked myself up, jumped in the car and sped all the way there, sure I was going to be met by crying kids and disapproving teachers. But no, the doting mothers that had to walk their kids to their classes that morning were still in a line 2 blocks long trying to pick their kids up! (they probably couldn't find their own way out.) Hallelujah. By the time I got to the front of the line they were apologizing to me for making it such a hassle. I forgave them but told them not to let it happen again. :)

It sounded like a good idea. Four days of fun and games without the kids for our 11th anniversary. We even flew down and had a pretty nice hotel room.
Things don't always turn out as planned. Jerm doesn't gamble but I did talk him into a Bingo game or two. Then things took a bad turn and we spent an entire day in the emergency room. Jerm had an acute attack of Diverticulitis. weird. We ended up postponing our flight home and paying for another night in the hotel and another day with the rental car. bummer. Jerm spent our extra day drugged up and in bed. I spent the day walking around the fancy malls and eating out alone. It was definitely a memorable trip. The boys had a GREAT time hanging out with cousins and having 4 slumber parties.
We've been home now for weeks but man I guess it took longer to recover than usual. I think I'm still working on vacation laundry! whatever.
My boys think this blogging thing is pretty cool so they asked me to set one up for them. Look for their links coming soon. They write down exactly what they want and I'll post for them. They take all their own pictures and are in charge of content (with some motherly editing by yours truly).

*WARNING- not for the squeamish

I'll apologize in advance for the content in this blog. However, this is my life la dee da. I like collecting bottles. I have quite a lovely grouping. Some old ones from uncle Shirl and the little brown one that used to hold those nasty fluoride pills my mom would make me chew. I have found a couple at yard sales and I have received a few of them as gifts. I like to set my collection on a window ledge so they light up in the sun. Their current home is on the nice wide ledge in front of the big window in my family room. In the basement. Also known as "the dungeon".  Okay, I call it the dungeon because it's a little dim and the only people who spend any time down there are the kids. Usually 6 or so at a time. Another hobby of mine, besides the bottle collecting, is cleaning up pee. Call it a pet peeve, call it OCD call it basic housekeeping, whatever. I can't stand the smell of urine. I know most people can't but I believe I have super-sensory sniffing power and pee smell makes me crazy. This is a difficult power to live with being the mother of two young boys. I teach them not to just wipe the seat, but also the sides of the bowl, the bottom around the stupid caps that always fall off,

 the floor around the toilet and the space between the tank and where it attaches to the bowl. We're still learning. Another source of fragrance comes from a sweet boy not being completely "in control" at night. But, nighttime underwear is supposed to go directly outside first thing in the morning. Why does he feel the need to hide them underneath puffs of lint in the laundry room garbage can? gross. I don't have any pets but yet, I find myself on my hands and knees more often than I'd like examining wet spots with my gifted scent seeker. gag. 

Sometimes there's a toughy. That smell you just can't find the source of? Usually a dishrag

 fallen behind the washer or a sippy cup of milk left behind by a darling little cousin that rolled under a piece of furniture. Well I've had one of those phantom scents, and it smelled like pee! I won't admit how long it has gone on. In fact, I almost resigned myself to the sad truth that my house would smell like that forever. 

Mystery solved.

Remember my lovely bottles sparkling in the sun? Yeah that's right. Couldn't quite make it up the stairs to make it in to the bathroom. My mind is still reeling.  A capped bottle of  yellow liquid sitting amongst my lovelies. Only one of my darling children was home at the time of discovery and he promptly denied any liability. Until, I told him that I could take the specimen to a lab and have it tested for DNA. He fell for it and fessed up. Then the other darling child came home. I already had my culprit so I just wanted to know wh

at he knew about the incident and why he didn't rat out his brother. As soon as I said "bottle of pee", he instantly apologized and begged for my forgiveness. WHAT?! There's another pee bottle hidden in the basement?!?

Welcome to my life.

I am a Scout.

It took me a few days to recover from my latest adventure. Nine days in the high Uintahs. You know the place where all the boy scouts get lost? Yeah that's where I was. I was there to be on staff for an adult leadership course called Wood Badge. Overall, it was great. Good people, beautiful scenery (although, I can appreciate the scenery from afar I really don't need to live in it) and some fantastic training. I have interpreted the Scout Law to give you a glimpse of my experience.

A scout is:

Trustworthy- To be trusted you also have to trust. Thanks to Jerm and my fam for taking good care of my boys.

Loyal- I am completely loyal to Deep Woods Off. The only brand of bug repellant that comes close to fending off the giant furry mosquitos whose poky things are so big  it feels like a tetanus shot every time they bite you.

Helpful- When the diabetic lady was sad because everyone else was eating ice-cream, I let her have ONE of my sugar-free chocolate puddings.

Friendly- But after a week, let's keep the friendliness at arm's length. What is the link between huggers and an aversion to deodorant?

Courteous- I don't know what it is about men in the mountains and the constant need to belch. To their credit, whenever they noticed I was around they usually excused themselves.

Kind- After spending HOURS trying to set up 4 teepees in the rain, a group of Native American boys  that happened upon us were kind enough to show us how it should be done.

Obedient- I set my own rules to stick to a pretty strict diet while I was there so I wouldn't get sick. I did it and lost 4 more pounds as a bonus!

Cheerful- Because she knows she has a secret stash of fancy edibles hidden in the lodge and she doesn't have to eat what's in front of her.

Thrifty- But not so thrifty that he sacrifices the quality of food he's giving other people to eat. gag.

Brave- I slept in a spider-filled tent for 8 nights being regularly visited by oversized squirrels that pooped on my floor.

Clean-Take a shower people! We had facilities. They may have been cold, dark, full of bugs and open to the world but the water was clean.

Reverent- Every night I would pray. I thanked my heavenly father for keeping my family safe and for allowing someone to invent earplugs.

My humble abode.

Stinkin' squirrels.

The facilities.